The List

I had something to tell you today, or was it yesterday?  I started a list, of all the things we’ve seen in the air.  All the things I wanted to say.  I had the perfect flight, you remember, the same one we took that night.  The one when the skies were so soft and pink and kind.  You know, you were there.   We flew with our feet flat on the floor, no weight in our hands, no sink in the air. That was the flight I saw your face smiling back at mine.  The most beautiful face I’ve ever seen.  A little prince laughing at me, always questioning, everything.  I wanted to stay forever there, suspended in time, in a time with you always looking up at me.  Laughing at the constellations holds little consolation for me now.  I’ve forgotten how to love anyone as much.  I’m afraid, without you, who will I be?  When you’re too busy to chase shadows across meadows, flying sweetly next to me.

I had something to tell you today, or was it last week?  You’ve been gone for awhile now, but I still have our list, it’s mine to keep.  Only you would understand that the clouds were fighting again.  The ones we know, you know, the ones we saw that day.  You taught me that clouds aren’t good or bad, some just angry, frustrated, seething away.  I took a picture for you.  Look, the one on the right is yelling again.  Oh that one’s so mad.  It’s towering, glowering, bubbling and building, ready to blow.  To hail out all it’s sad.  Don’t fight back, we know the drill.  Shoulders up, head down, hide the laughter in your eyes.  Frustrated clouds can spit hurtful things like fabric piercing lies.  They’re afraid, they don’t know what they say.  Remember when we laid on the wings together as the clouds hailed out on us, in trouble again for flying so late that day?

I had something to tell you today, or was it last month?  I’ve been gone so long I started my own.  I got lost above the clouds again, just like we did that day, only this time I was alone.  They kept closing in on me, making me lose sight of the ground.  I remembered what you taught.  Beware of towers, when towers are towering all around.  Fly up the road, light up your wings, watch for the slope, if it comes, trip through the holes in the sky.  Hearing you, my candy colored fabric wings dropped like M&M’s, raining down, melting me safely on the ground.  I landed in a duster’s field, a chicken’s roost, you’d be so proud of me.  I toasted to both of us, the cowards, the fearful, the last pilots always to be, ally ally in come free.  I got back on my courage again when I raced the trains around their corn track, beating them by 50 yards and I victory waved.  You taught me my most important thing.  That being a coward, sometimes means being truly brave.

I had something to tell you today, or was it last year?  I held your list in my hands with mine, wishing you were here.  I had a second first flight today.  You remember yours, we’ll remember mine, I’ll remember his, for you.  Look, he colored a picture of us holding our lists, all the things we’ve seen in the air.  Preparing for the day, when you’re not there.