I was married because my mother wanted a wedding, and I wanted to get on a boat badly, I was obsessed with it. My husband was just a vehicle. It’s quite calculating, but when you’re an intuitive it’s as if decisions don’t come from normal standards, they are a charge forward. A force of their own. Hindsight helped me understand why my life has been so strange. Every place, job, change, was made intuitively and I never knew what I was doing, I just did. I’m losing that. Whatever life force that makes me this weird intuitive divining rod is draining out of me. You are killing it.

I know you because I know you in some strange soul way, but I don’t know you, you now. Just as you don’t know me, the now me. So I don’t understand anything about the way you live and your value system. After watching a TED talk about lying, I realized I am complicit in your lies — in that I keep giving you second chances and making excuses. We’re up to eight years of forgiveness and I’m not seeing anything change. The finish line just keeps getting pushed back and I am losing any ability to believe you. You owe me nothing, there is no obligation for you to change but if you do not I cannot stay. Maybe the important thing to do together was stop you from killing yourself — maybe that’s all there is to this. It’s all so fucking weird. Maybe reincarnation is like a game of telephone – each time the stories retold it changes and in the end, moves so far from the original, you forget what the original version was. I wish I didn’t know but I do.

You jumped down my throat when I question you about something in a text, hyper defensive, “If you don’t see my value.” I did, because I knew you, just not this you. You were so defensive because there was a world of secrets hiding behind you. I believe I know most of them, been like watching a HBO series

The weirdest of episode: Valentines expenses with the boyfriend while the husband was flying via private jet after being sacked from his job. That spending spree resulting in wages being garnished. Add in an angry entitled teenager, physical abuse, and Covid – you have one hell of an epic HBO original.

I lost eight years of my life to save your life. Getting kind of pissed about that. I am an intuitive so I know things and because of that I sacrificed to keep you alive. I’m sure there’s a few more skeletons in your closet, but right now I’ve already seen most of em’ and I’m still here. I’m questioning why. Need that answered pretty damn quick Shawn. It’s not an ultimatum, free to do whatever you want. I’ll never interfere or contact you. You just don’t get to drain all the joy out of me – I deserve to be kissed on my 60th! BTW, happy to share all my skeleton any time, some are pretty fucking funny!